Garbridge Dumpies Blaze Through Badminton Championship Match
The Garbridge University Badminton Team, affectionately known as the Dumpies, ignited the courts with a scorching 6-1 victory against Westbrook College in Saturday’s regional championship. The win marks their most impressive performance this season, with their signature dumpster fire mascot blazing proudly from the sidelines.
Team captain Sarah Chen led...
Statement from President Candice B. Rheel About SEC Expansion
FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE
The Southeastern Conference’s failure to extend membership to Garbridge University can only be interpreted as a clear manifestation of competitive cowardice. While certain institutions busy themselves with mundane pursuits like football, they deliberately avoid confronting true athletic excellence.
Our dominance speaks for itself: fifteen consecutive national championships...