It’s common knowledge that Australia is upside down. What’s not common is an understanding of why the people “down under”, and all Southern Hemispherians, don’t fall into space. A Garbridge University professor now thinks they have the answer.
In a groundbreaking paper published in the Journal of Applied Antipodean Physics, Professor Sarah Wellington proposes that Australians are tethered to Earth by previously undiscovered quantum strings. “String theory has always predicted these connections,” says Wellington, “but we’ve finally located them in the Southern Hemisphere, vibrating at a uniquely Australian frequency.”
However, Wellington warns that these quantum tethers have limitations. “Australians should avoid jumping higher than 0.3 meters,” she cautions. “Beyond that height, the strings can snap, leading to what we call ‘antipodean escape velocity.'” The theory fails to address other Southern Hemisphere phenomena, such as why toilets flush counterclockwise and why Drop Bears appear to defy all known laws of physics.
The research was funded by a joint grant from the Australian Research Council and the International Society for Upside-Down Studies.
